Meanderings...
Hmmm...where to start.

I went back to the Doctor yesterday. I have bronchitis still (extremely bad) and an ear infection. New antibiotics and a shot. So I have gone from being a danger to others...to others being a danger to me. No crowds...people...until Monday. Have I mentioned I hate being sick.

So if anyone wants to do anything next week let me know...I do not want to be at this house any more than I have to be after this week.

I started doing Blockbuster online this week and I got my first three rentals today. Fun. I rented the Sound of Music for class as an extra credit assignment. I also rented Elf because I need a laugh and I love Will Farrell. And finally I rented Second Chances.

I went to work today for the first time. It was nice to see my girls. Then I came home and slept. Argh for exhaustion.

So you know what has been on my heart this week. The Cross. I heard this song earlier this week and well it spoke to me.

Beauty of the Cross

Crystal Lewis

King of my life I crown You now
You're the ruler of my heart
I will wear it loud
I will tell the whole world about You
You died in my place
You suffered all for me
Just so I could live
You were broken and bruised
And I will tell the whole world about You

The cross, stained by blood
The beauty of the cross
Healing for the lost
The cross, stained by blood
The beauty of the cross
Healing for the lost
The cross



King of my life I crown You now
You're healer I've longed for
Now of heaven I'm sure
And I will tell the whole world about You

Thorns on Your brow
Stripes on Your back
So innocent, You did it all for me
Nails in Your hands
Nails in Your feet
Sword in Your side, You did it all for me
You paid the cost
That's the beauty of the cross

You see I choose to not think about the cross in my day to day life. Why? You ask. Because of what it represents. Suffering...and even more sacrifice. I came across this quote...


At the cross God wrapped his heart in flesh and blood and let it be nailed to the cross for our redemption.
E. Stanley Jones





When put that way why is it I neglect what He did. I can see in my mind that scene from The Passion of Christ where he is being beaten so badly you can barely discern who he is. I will be honest I turned my head away during most of this scene. I could not handle it. I am reminded of Isaiah 53:2-5, Before the world knew who he was these words were already in place.



He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

That is what he did...he was rejected, despised, stricken by his own father, pierced, and crushed. For Me. For You.

Beauty in the most pure form.

I struggle so much with trying to be the perfect Christian with the perfect life. I put on a happy face for others around me. To be honest...I am so glad I can be who I am with Him. No putting on what I think I should be for Him. Just me...and He thinks I am beautiful... JOY.

I must say though I truly am happy and content right now. And now for the most part you do not see "happy Christy" you see "true Christy" But that is after a very hard year of struggle and truthfully a lot of sacrifice. But in the end it is all Beauty.

Thank You Jesus.

So I am not sure how I got to this place. I just know it was through Him and by Him.

Thank You Jesus.

For the cross, for the beauty, for my life.

Thank You.

Hmmm...so if you read all of that. Thanks and know that for some reason I wanted to put that here...who knows why. So for a few minutes you get to see very deeply into my heart.

Know that I love each of you my dear friends. and He Loves You MORE.

So I will end with this quote...from one of those people you wish you could have met before he passed away... a raggamuffin after God's heart. Rich Mullins.

There's nothing you can do, to make God love you more...and there's nothing you can do, to make God love you less.



Cheerio